Why You Shouldn’t Take Rejection Personally

Most people don’t handle rejection well – it hurts our ego and unsettles our sense of belonging.

However, there are a few occasions in life where we may face rejection at times – no matter who we are. Whether it’s applying for the perfect job that you’ve always dreamt of or simply just asking a friend if they want to join you for a trip away.

You may be afraid of rejection because you believe it indicates that you are lacking in some way. Or, because you’ve been taught that being rejected indicates you’re not good enough. This can allow self-doubt to creep in and lower our self-esteem.

Try not to take rejection personally. Instead, think about it in a different way.

Don’t take it personally

Easier said than done right? To not take rejection personally is certainly a skill that takes practice. But it is one that is worth learning so that fear of being rejected doesn’t interfere with our goals and stop us from putting ourselves out there.

It’s all about our mindset. Rejection isn’t always a bad thing. Rather, it’s how we interpret it that decides whether it will become an obstacle or be of benefit to us.

In fact, rejection can sometimes give us the opportunity to reflect on things and be a sign of growth.

The key is to keep our emotions in check through the application of reason.

Here are three points why rejection might not be as serious as it first seems…

• It’s a form of communication

If we can look beyond the emotional bruising, rejection is sending us a message. It’s merely information on compatibility – between you and what you were rejected from. What you do with that message is up to you. But, on the surface, rejection is simply information about compatibility.

For example, rejection from a job application doesn’t indicate that you were unqualified or not good enough; it just means the employment was not right for you at that time.

In the same way, being rejected by another person doesn’t indicate that you’re unsuitable for them; instead, it could mean that they are not right for you.

View this message as helpful because it allows you to filter out what doesn’t suit you.

• Take another viewpoint

In our own mind, every interaction is filtered through our own perspective. Therefore, when someone rejects us, it can be an automatic reaction to think that they must dislike us. In truth, we have no idea what the other person may be thinking. Often, we presume that people think the same way as we do – because our thought process is all we really know. When in reality, there could be a million different things that led someone to that decision or action that we will never know about.

In much the same way, when someone rejects you, it’s likely because of their own personal preferences and ideals – which you may not share or agree with. In fact, their opinion of you is most likely shaped by their previous experiences and views. It could be for a variety of reasons that actually have nothing to do with you.

• View it as a sign of growth

Have you recently been turned down? If so, this can indicate that you are progressing in your life. Why? Because if you don’t face rejection from time to time that means you’re avoiding change and are likely stagnant. In this way, rejection shows that you are aiming high and going after opportunities in life.

While it might not seem like it, being rejected can be a valuable learning opportunity. Use it to collect information about a certain situation. View it as an opportunity to make changes and improve. Try asking ‘why not?’. Not because you are determined to change someone’s mind but instead to understand their reasons, so you can use this information to improve something in the future.

When we take a step back and remember that rejection doesn’t always imply that we are unworthy and instead understand that rejection is a tool to help us find what truly matches us, we’ll learn to cope with it much better.

However, if you are struggling with overwhelming feelings of low self-worth, it may be time to consider professional help. Our team of experienced psychologists are here to help guide you through the process of rebuilding your self-esteem, step by step.

For more information or to book an appointment, click here or give our friendly reception team a call on 1800 327 477 (AU) / 0800 327 477 (NZ).