This is custom heading element
Often described as an intense emotional state associated with hostile thoughts, physiological arousal and maladaptive behaviours, anger is an emotion that we all experience at some point in our lives.
Anger is not an unhelpful emotion, it lets us know there is something wrong, allows us to express our negative feelings, set boundaries and motivate us to problem solve. It is important however, that this emotion is regulated and expressed appropriately as uncontrollable anger has many consequences that can adversely affect our health, self-esteem and relationships.
How to Regulate our Anger
In order to regulate our anger, it is important to first understand why we feel this emotion. We experience anger when we sense either a real or perceived threat in our environment. This feeling can vary from mild frustrations to a full-blown rage. Anger typically triggers our ‘fight or flight’ response, a survival mechanism that allows us to respond to life-threatening situations. Most situations involving anger however are not life-threatening which is why it can often feel so difficult to control.
Whilst anger is a completely valid emotion on its own, it is usually expressed as a secondary emotion of our deepest, most vulnerable emotions. In fact, it is considered to be a protector of our raw feelings such as sadness, rejection, guilt, fear, embarrassment or loneliness. Often, we will substitute these emotions with anger so we do not feel as much pain.
This idea is commonly conceptualised as the ‘anger iceberg.’ Anger often lies on the tip of the iceberg, readily visible by others. Underneath the surface are our other emotions that tend to be hidden. Whilst anger may temporarily protect us from having to recognise and deal with these real feelings, leaving them unaddressed typically fuels the anger further.
Reasons to Regulate our Anger
Other beneficial reasons to regulate uncontrollable anger:
- When we are able to correctly name our feelings, we can create a stronger connection to them which allows us to be more responsive and reduce the likelihood of engaging in destructive behaviours associated with uncontrollable anger.
- By expanding our vocabulary when describing our feelings, we are likely to be better understood by others which will likely increase our feelings of closeness and safety in important relationships.
- Recognising when anger is rooted in another primary emotion enables us to learn how to unpack these more vulnerable feelings and process them in a healthy and productive way. We may learn more about ourselves as emotional beings, including how we now cope, and how we might work towards stronger coping mechanisms in the future, by understanding how these underlying emotions are involved in our anger reactions.
At Positive Mind Works we have several psychologists on our team who have extensive experience and skills to address anger-related issues. Our team members will work with you within a non-judgemental environment to explore and bring some of these more vulnerable emotions – such as uncontrollable anger – to the surface so you can learn to process them in a healthier way.
To learn more, give us a call on 1800 327 477 (AU) or 0800 327 477 (NZ) or click here to book yourself in online.
Associated information:
